My own white privilege

White privilege.
Many as you read those two words together will have emotions well up, likely ones that are not joyful, not full of love or understanding.
You will likely want to lash out, to dismiss such a notion in this land of opportunity we call America.
Go ahead. Feel it.
But I ask you also to then try and reflect differently,  once your choppy and angry waters calm.
Put aside all the years of pre-conceived assumptions, of ingrained beliefs, of yeah... prejudices.
Read the rest of this with a blank slate, with a clear mind, free of preconceptions. And when you read the stories, don’t let all those emotions overwhelm you, instead keep your mind in neutral.
Ready?

Derrick Mason, former NFL player,  grew up in a good environment, good income but was told by his father, whenever he drove anywhere to wear a lanyard around his neck. And in that lanyard, keep his license, his Proof of insurance and vehicle registration.   All in fear of not reaching for this information and being shot.

A friend - a middle-agree white - recently was in Detroit,  around 12:30 a.m. and was driving with several young black athletes, who he does financial advising for.     A cop pulled them over, and the first thing this young black man did upon pulling over, rolled down his window and showed his hands.
My friend - sitting in the back seat, said, “What the hell are you doing?”  The young black male said he always does this as a precaution.
My friend was stunned at the ugly and aggressive tone the police had with the young black male.
Soon, an officer tapped hard on the back window, when it rolled down and saw my white friend, again my white friend was stunned at how the tone changed.
The office said, ‘Oh you’re with them?  Ok, y’all slow down and go on.”

A co-worker was in Guatemala,  pre-marriage, and was out dancing, and asked a cute girl to dance.
Quickly, a friend jumped in and said, “What are you doing? We don’t dance with girls from that part of town!”

Recently I was discussing racism with a long-time best friend, and I made the comment how whites often can be racist.
Well, my friend, who’s Filipino, said I should say Caucasian, not white.  because many Filipinos - who are technically white - don’t want to be lumped into white category.

Stop.  Be still.  Think.  Feel.

This dear friend also had an amazing fact, one that lines up with the entire story that we are all children of God, from the same image, the same blood.
A history professor explained that we all came from an original man, very likely a dark-skinned ala Hebrew/Middle Eastern.   But as time passed, many of these peoples spread to other northern regions,  ones with less sun and less need for melanin, therefore becoming more.... yes, white.

And the greatest man in history, Jesus, very likely was dark skinned, and faced the ultimate discrimination and hatred, yet walked in love, in humility and forgiveness.

Even upon a cross, his skin and muscles literally falling off his bones from scourging, He looked past all the hatred, the divisiveness, the discrimination, the persecution,  and said, “Forgive them Father, for they know what they do.”

Well, as a white man with privilege, I need to feel my brother’s pain and fear.  In some ways, I am the Roman soldier, holding the flagrum.  I am the Pharisees, standing on my pedestal preaching my truths.
 I need to walk with more forgiveness and understanding.   I have not one iota of understanding of the systemic fear my fellow brothers of a different skin color have experienced. NONE.

My wise old-soul son, Kyle, profoundly said last night,
“If my brother hurts, I need to hurt with him.  If my brother rejoices, I will rejoice with him.”

Lord, I pray these words touched someone, gave them new eyes, new heart and more love.

And as I end this blog, this song comes on, lol, because God always shows up with His wisdom:

I’m learning to trust you, even when I can’t see it.
And even in suffering, I have to believe it.
If you say it’s wrong, then I’ll say no.
If you say release, I’m letting  go.
If you say be still, I will wait.
I’m done chasing feelings, Spirit lead me.
- Spirit Lead Me, Influence Music

The R word ... and my Reality

My heart hurts.

Not because of innocent people being maimed and killed by criminal thugs.

Not for the man kneeled into death by a criminal thug cop.

Not for the business owner who spent his life’s savings on opening a business, only to see it burned to the ground by evil anarchists.

No, my heart hurts because I’ve been blind.

My political leanings, my upper income status, my impatience with so much, and so many other personal roadblocks  have all blinded my heart to truly see each and every person as a human.

Though that human may do dastardly and evil acts, though that human may pander to a base they care nothing about, though that human may take advantage of social systems, I let my blinded heart not see that they too need God, they too need love and understanding.

My reality was sucker punched this past Sunday, listening to a message from TD Jakes.

I realized, yes, I do often look at a black man different through my white-person lenses,  instinctively judging, categorizing and yes... profiling.  

From my mouth, “I’m not racist.”  

From my heart, “yes you are” says God.

Today, thinking on all this, God whispered to me this thought:

I didn’t give my only Son as a living sacrifice for y’all to hate, to maim, to murder, to burn down.

I gave him to forgive us all and to love one another.

Friends, I for one, have not loved enough, I have not tried to understand enough, I have not sown peace and healing.  And all this was God’s truth in that sucker punch.

Racism. An incendiary subject. But one, truthfully we avoid, deny, hush. 

We live in vacuums of our own safety, teaching God’s grace but not the truth, Jakes said.

TD Jakes, an internationally renowned black pastor, in a recent interview said, “This isn’t about race. It’s about humanity. 

We need to love better, get out of our comfort zone and see that this is a human issue, he pleaded.  We need to speak up, and see the character of the heart , not the color of the skin.

And the painful truth - one that many whites - including me - want to silence and not believe is that there is systematic racism.  We must acknowledge this truth, and find out how we can fix it.

Carl Lenz, pastor of Hillsong East coast, said,  Yes, all lives matter, but you know what it’s also ok to say Black Lives matter!

And right now friends, whether justified here or not justified there, blacks as Jakes, said “we are bleeding.”     

We cannot discount their pain and their fear.

We must put aside our prejudices, show up, speak out, and prove we care about them, just like we care about any other human.   No matter your skin color, we must care about every human: white, black, brown.

In the end, we all want the same: to be heard, to be loved and to be treated fairly.

And friends, in the midst of this awful calamity, the lawless anarchist spreading fear,  and seemingly endless personal destruction, we -  especially the church, especially believers - at this moment in time have a chance to wipe away years of misconceptions, of hidden prejudices, and press reset.

To reset our minds, hearts and souls to really love one another.  

To see each and every human like God does:  as  a child to be loved.

I pray for forgiveness for my blinded past heart.  I pray that God continues to lift the scales from my eyes, and I see each human just like God does, and can love relentlessly just like my Father does.  And I pray all go to Jesus, to find the way to love more.

Peace, love and cheers to all humans!

Chinese Virus Lessons Learned

So as we enter Day 2,356,999 of this isolation (sorry, I lost count after 7 days...), here are my Kung Fu Virus lessons learned rambling for today:

1. Whiskey Tolerance is a real thing.  How much is too much each night?
2. Staring out my bedroom window daily, I see every dead and yellowing leave on every plant in my landscaping and must cut it off right away.
3. Never realized I could feel so much joy having to drive across town for a doctor appointment.
4. You really have to protect your mind from a dangerous and fast-spreading pandemic: FEAR pandemic.
5. Statistics - mostly incorrect and false - can truly shape the way people perceive things.
6. Fact finding takes back seat to stats and fear.
7. Vultures will always be vultures and pick at dry bones, even in crisis (See Democrats holding up stimulus bills, see representatives using inside info for market trading)
8.  LSU 2019 WAS the greatest team ever in college football - re-watched CFP.
9. Blocking negative people on social media brings an unrealized joy.
10.  Crisis has exposed how real TDS is,  and the loony tunes of NeverTrumpers.
11. Man, I miss watching sports.
12.  Landscaping daily is a thing.
13. Gathering with friends sure is important in my life.
14. Can you imagine life without internet, WiFi, or  social media???? Horrors!!!
15. Didn’t realize how many people don’t understand basic hygiene
16.  Sweeping, dusting, cleaning counters daily doesn’t kill enough time.
17. Epstein didn’t kill himself.
18. During this virus,  telling the world “28-3” jokes is still funny.
19. “Meme-ing 101: How to Meme while in isolation”  will soon be a university-approved course.
20.  “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” took on whole new meaning when you don’t know time it is daily.
21.  Now that wearing bandito masks in public is ok, what will bank robbers wear?
22.  Getting a clandestine hair-cut was badass.
23. Faith vs. Fear is a REAL thing.
24. Fear is powerful weapon, one so strong it shut down the entire country.
25. God is good, so good, even during this difficult time.

A New World Normal .. or abnormal?

Is today Saturday or Friday?  Wait, let me look at my calendar.
Yeah, a new normal. Days blending together, time structure pretty much out the window.
Sitting here at my bedroom table aka my new office on most days, on Day 19 of my at-first 14-day self quarantine/then shelter at home/ now isolation prison,  staring out at my backyard tropical landscaping... and the new normal is:  what else can I do, cut, prune, add to that landscaping jungle just to get outside!!???
My good friend, Doug, said out of the blue recently: you should blog about your isolation experience.
So,  here we go!
The past 19 days, really the last 30 days, have been to paraphrase pastor Craig Groeschel, emotionally disorienting.
As this viral pandemic quietly crept into the United States, I was across the world in paradise, in what other mortals call New Zealand, with my son, Kyle, enjoying the majesty of God’s creations.  My only concerns were about booking the next excursion and finding a functioning Wi-Fi hookup.  In our nine days in Kiwi land,  only a few masks, and very little if any talk about this Wuhan Virus.
Returning on March 15, I was not prepared for the level of hysteria, misinformation, fear and economic disruption I would encounter.
The first emotional blow: upon our return,  Kyle and I needed to self-quarantine (never thought in my lifetime I’d be saying that word so much as I have in the last 19 days!).  Self-what!?  Stay home, avoid all social interaction?  What? Don’t they know how much I thrive on being around people?  Putting together group plans to play golf, go drinking, go out to eat?
Ok, so we stay home. Cool.  Get to do more Yardwork. Cook at lot. Sleep later. Binge watch Netflix, HBO, etc, every night. Play some online Texas Holdem. Surf social media.  Drink some good bourbon (hope no one sees my purchase receipts on this ..don’t judge) Yeah, this won’t be so bad, right?
Well, all the fun n games slowly (or was it quickly?  Wait, what time is it again?) shifted to a blur of boredom, a daily mental gymnastics to not let the dulling routine, the fear, the panic, the negative, the unsettling uncertainty of what would news be tomorrow about this virus, overwhelm my mind.
Before this national shutdown, Social media was already a digital doorway to enter into other people’s worlds, peek into their minds, somewhat experience their feelings (even if the voyeurism was simply endless pictures of dogs, cats, babies)
But social media quickly (or was it slowly, dang I just can’t keep track...)  morphed into a universe of negative barking at positive,  pessimism battling optimism, faith wrestling with fear.
This glaring dicotomy brought up two of my deepest core beliefs, ones I have believed and tried to walk, ever since I accepted Jesus into my life. Two core beliefs that are inextricably intertwined:
Choices and Faith vs. Fear.
A revelation many years ago for me was what God said about faith, in two personally powerful scriptures:
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
So,  I believe everyone in all things, not some: ALL, has a decision:  do I choose fear or do I choose faith?
Choices.  In ALL decisions, we must make choices.  And from that choice, you should be prepared to accept the consequences, both good and bad. (Yeah, accountability.. what a novel idea, huh?  And one lost in recent times.)
In this isolation prison, I never doubted my faith and fully believed (and voiced such too strongly, we’ll come back to this) this virus was a fear-monger’s wet dream.
After no-idea how many days, I had to severely limit my vocal attempts to discount misinformation and my strong feelings about the over-hyped hysteria and fear.  I gave up the daily statistical wars with friends, and online debates about validity of news sources.  Tough choice, but had to because so many are so filled with fear and other delicate emotions.
The daily mental and emotional pent-up frustrations and impatience weren’t healthy, so, basically, I chose to step off my social media soapbox, and try to only offer positive, faith-filled words.

And maybe this is the good part of his new normal (abnormal?)

We step away from emotional debates, and it’s ok to let people be right when they likely are wrong.
We just laugh at insanely long lines caused by social distancing at Lowe’s to get into garden section.
We thank everyday workers - store clerks, fast-food servers, janitors - more.
We appreciate and enjoy more our friendships.
We ask strangers more often, how are they doing.
We encourage everyone more, we love more.
We are more thankful in what we have and can do, then in what’s lost and can’t do.

Finally, we truly understand God is with you at all times, on the mountain and in the valley, in the isolation, in the fear...  He is with you at ALL times.

Cheers, love, and safety to you.